Hail Dubya!

Bush Coping Mechanisms

I'm going to have to learn to live with Mister Bush. He's not going away, and I can't let my head explode every time I hear him talk because that's bad for my health. So I need to accept the ludicrous reality known as the president of the United States and get on with my life.

For starters, I better get used to the idea that he's going to skate away from the NSA spying fiasco, because he is. We've thought he'd painted himself in a corner before, but the guy always manages to dance out of it. He's got more lives than ten litters of kittens.

As Think Progress points out, in yesterday's speech, Mister Bush said that his warrantless domestic wiretaps were personally approved by Alberto Gonzales. So they had to be okay, right?

Now, you and me, if we decided to sneak break into a stranger's house and look at all his stuff, and got caught, we'd be in big trouble. Can you imagine what would happen to you and me if we stood in front of a judge and told him it was legal for us to break into the house because our lawyer told us it was okay?

But that's talking about you and me. We're not the commander-in-chief. Mister Bush is. Because the Constitution says so.

Keep in mind, now, Article II of the Constitution says Mister Bush is commander-in-chief of the military, not of the whole country. When America is at war--formally declared by Congress or not--the rest of us don't turn into semi-soldiers and sailors. We're still just plain old citizens. We don't have to salute the guy, or even stand at attention when he comes on TV.

And nothing in the Constitution says being commander-in-chief makes it okay for a President to break the law in wartime or peacetime.

But Alberto Gonzales seems to think it does. That's what he says. And he's the head lawyer for the commander-in-chief, so whatever he says goes.

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But we don't have to take just 'Berto's word for it. Congress says it's okay for Mister Bush to break the law if he thinks he has to. It's all in the September 18, 2001 Authorization for Use of Military Force.

…the President is authorized to use all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons he determines planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001, or harbored such organizations or persons, in order to prevent any future acts of international terrorism against the United States by such nations, organizations or persons.

Of course, defeatists, cut-and-runners, and the media might say that "all necessary and appropriate force" doesn't include breaking the law.

But they're not 'Berto, so what they say doesn't count.

And as 'Berto pointed out this morning on MSNBC, in the case of Hamdi v. Rumsfeld, the Supreme Court upheld Mister Bush's authority to hold U.S. citizens without trial.

Heck, compared to locking away any American he wants at the snap of his fingers, what's a little domestic spying?

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Mister Bush is making his own law. He's not even trying to hide it anymore. Whoever snitched on him will likely get nailed on some cockamamie espionage charge.

But Mister Bush won't be punished for anything. The American people elected him President of the United States, and 'Berto, Congress, and the courts made him Absolute Emperor of the Entire Known Universe. And there's not much any of us can do about it.

That's mighty hard for me to take, but I'm going to have to get used to it.