John F. Burns and Eric Schmidt of the NEW YORK TIMES reported today that generals in Iraq view the situation as grim. The training of Iraqi forces isn't going well. One senior officer suggested that American involvement in Iraq "could last many years." Another said of the Iraq operation, "I think this could still fail."
But fear not: the American Government is taking dramatic steps to correct the situation.
Speaking to the International Republican Institute, President Bush called for patience in assessing the situation in Iraq, and calmed audience fears by stating that the American Revolution was followed by "years of chaos," and that America's original articles of confederation "failed miserably" (NYT). Whew! Thanks Mister President. That's a load off my mind.
On Capitol Hill, the Senate and House armed services committees approved a bill that will ban women from combat (CNN). Looks like Congress finally figured out it was those darn girls who screwed up the deal in Iraq. What were we thinking, invading Iraq with a dumb old bunch of girls? Never mind that, though. Now we'll show those pesky insurgents a thing or two!
In another vital strategic move, the Air Force has asked President Bush for permission to put offensive and defensive weapons in outer space (NYT). This is a brilliant maneuver for two reasons:
1) It keeps our armaments in a safe place where the terrorists can't get at them.
2) It sends a clear message of deterrence to the Klingons, the Romulans, and the rest of the Axis of Intergalactic Evil.
And on the economic front:
Gao Huiqing, a senior economist at the State Information Center, a top government think-tank in Beijing, states that "China is unlikely to back down" to demands from the Bush administration that it break the yuan's decade long tie to the dollar (REUTERS). In a preemptive retaliatory move, President Bush has imposed quotas on American imports of certain Chinese textiles.
So you can stop worrying your pretty little head over the U.S. trade deficit, can't you?