Thursday, February 22, 2007

Cheney: Just How Thick Is This Dick?

General Tommy Franks, head of Central Command during the "combat phase" of Operation Iraqi Freedom, thought Doug Feith was the dumbest (expletive deleted) guy on the planet. Feith may be a dolt, but he has nothing in the effing dumb department on his political mentor Dick Cheney. Old "Last Throes" was in classic form this week in Guam, where he met with U.S. troops and local officials.

Here are some excerpts from the Associated Press coverage of his visit.
US Vice-President Dick Cheney says the American people will not back a policy of retreat in Iraq, a day after Britain announced a large-scale troop pullout.

Never mind Cheney's use of the distracting but emotionally charged term "retreat." Given his standing in the polls and the results of our November election, what in the name of science and sanity makes him think he can speak for the "American people?"
In Guam he met with American troops and local officials who support a buildup of forces on the isolated island. His brief stopover attracted 2,000 troops and residents to hear his speech.

If you've ever been to Guam, you know there's not a heck of a lot to do there. That all a speech by the vice president of the United States could draw was 2,000 people--mostly Navy and Air Force personnel who had no choice other than to attend--tells you that Cheney is as popular in Guam as he is everywhere else.

But here's where Cheney really flashed his Bozo badge (from the official White House Transcript):
By positioning forces on Guam, the United States can move quickly and effectively to protect our friends, to defend our interests, to bring relief in times of emergency, and to keep the sea lanes open to commerce and closed to terrorists.

Keep the sea lanes closed to terrorists? For God's sake, Cheney, the "terrorists" don't have a navy and they never will. Do you actually believe they'll ever be able to control sea lanes in the Northern Pacific Ocean? Or do you just think the rest of us are dumb enough to believe that on your say so?

Dumb Like a Fox

By now, nearly everyone knows how Dick Cheney has funneled untold billions of war profits to his pals at Halliburton and its subsidiary, KBR. Not so well known is KBR's history for securing naval support contracts. If America starts a mother loving naval war with Iran, hey boy--who is going to profit from that?

Dick Cheney isn't just one of the worst things that ever happened to America. He's one of the worst things that happened to humanity. This man, one of history's greatest warmongers and war profiteers, is the same guy who had ten years worth of "other priorities" when it was time to fight the war of his generation. And to think: many veterans who fought in the Vietnam War that Cheney opted out of still support Cheney's militaristic worldview.

One hears that in social situations, Cheney is a charming guy. I'm sure that's true, but here's some advice. If you ever find yourself in an intimate setting with him, and he offers you an apple, don't take it.


Commander Jeff Huber, U.S. Navy (Retired) writes from Virginia Beach, Virginia. Read his commentaries at Pen and Sword.


  1. Cheney came to Japan too. See my post on the subject here.........

    Basically the entire base here was disrupted so he could say nothing. And don't even ask about the goat roap that was his meeting with the mayor of Yokosuka.

  2. Good piece, Skippy. I bet that was a total zoo.

  3. Wikipedia's article on Halliburton pretty well lays it all out. I'd say that "Halliburton" will, in time, replace Teapot Dome as the exemplar of gov't corruption, but given our National Attention Deficit Disorder, we'll soon forget whatever it was that I started writing about.

  4. Cheney Dome? Teapot Gate?

    You're right. This Daddy Warbucks environment we find ourselves in is a disgrace.

  5. Or do you just think the rest of us are dumb enough to believe that on your say so?

    Sir, yes, sir!

  6. Jeff - you have it all wrong how else would Al Qaeda follow us home if we retreat from Iraq. According to unnamed intelligence sources, Al Qaeda will soon, in fact, possess the largest navy in the world with capabilities to bombard our coastal cities.(Just kidding!)

  7. "Shooter" had to do something to make up for all that asbestos liability he left Halliburton stuck with.

    He's every bit as big a lifetime failure as his simian alleged boss is. Neither "man" can exist without a detachment of ass wipers nearby, ready to clean up their mistakes.

  8. Anonymous3:48 AM

    Cheney may have been referring to the recent "internet chatter" about the Popular Front for the Liberation of Gryffindor.

  9. Seriously speaking, the man will go down in history as the biggest and most brutal bank-robber in history. "Masters of War" by Bob Dylan keeps ringing in my mind.

  10. Thanks again for the discussion, all.